Community Promise Stories: Kayshawn

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?  

My name is Kayshawn. I’m 36. I’m a native New Yorker, originally from Flatbush, Brooklyn. It’s been seven years since I stopped using drugs.

Before we get a little deeper into your story and your perspective, what are your hobbies?  

I like to spend time with family and close friends that are good to me. I’m an introvert. I like walks, anime, music, writing in my journal, sitting in the park. Tompkins Square Park, Washington Square, and Union Square are beautiful, or just sitting by the river, it can be very peaceful. 

I am part of the CHOICES program even though I don’t take Suboxone. I’m in therapy with Dr. Jeffery, usually once a month.   

Can you tell us about your history with substances and what brought you here? 

Cocaine is the drug I was using the most. I’m an introvert, and cocaine was what I used to be around people. But shaking that was like going back into my shell. I no longer had my mask, and it was really scary.  

I was kind of a pushover. I let people do stuff to me. And I tended to stay and let people around me because I was lonely.  

The breaking point was when I realized a lot of my friendships and relationships were toxic for me. I had to learn to take things at face value and not to excuse people’s bad behavior. 

What were your triggers when you were using? 

Arguments, depression, being disappointed. Emotional anguish. Being in large groups of people.  

I’ve been sober for 7 years. I often think about how far I’ve come, and I know going backwards will make so many people disappointed in me, but I do have lots of moments when I have urges.  

What are some challenges that make you feel those “urges”? 

My current living situation. The last few months, I haven’t had a place of my own, I’ve been staying with a friend. It’s not optimal. I’ve basically been putting my life together since moving back to New York in March. I moved to Ft. Lauterdale to be with my daughter and her mother. 

Florida wasn’t good for me mentally, or emotionally. The relationship with my daughter’s mother was one of those where I let someone take advantage of me. I lost 50 pounds there. She started mistreating me in all sorts of ways. She had the authorities evict me from a place that had my name on the lease. 

I was working at Target and had just lost my job.  

Are you working now, back in New York? 

Just gigs here and there. I’ve been walking people’s dogs. I get snap benefits, something Alliance helped me with. 

How did you find Alliance for Positive Change, and when? 

In 2017, when I was on the verge of stopping my drug use. I had heard about you from a participant who I knew from another meeting, she told me to come to this group at Alliance. I really enjoyed the group. I didn’t need sterile syringes for long, since I did stop using. But since then I’ve just been coming to the groups.  

What services do you access here? 

All services. I attend the Medication-assisted treatment (Suboxone) group Mondays. I do the Tuesday Men’s Group. Wednesday is the education and health workshop run by Ryan and VOCAL about knowing your rights. Basically five days a week. It’s all been equally useful. I’ve learned how to handle my own reactions to people, different interactions, dealing with different personalities.  

I have an Alliance case manager who helped me get back on SNAP benefits, and the big thing is I’m applying for PREP Cycle 63, starting in mid-September. I met with Ms. Joyce. I’ve been through a lot in life, and I’d like to become a CASAC or drug counselor.  

It seems like you’d be very good at that 

I’ve had a lot of lived experience. It’s not hard being around people who are actively using drugs than other people. They’re more truthful and honest than a lot of people who are sober. People who don’t use--they find ways to nullify the things they go through. Somebody who uses is a little bit more open, because they think their story can help someone avoid their mistakes.  

What is your philosophy in life? 

In due time, people will see the progress you’ve made, and see everything differently. For a while, my mom didn’t believe me when I said I was really dedicated to improving my life, but she’s seen me calm down, get in better shape, she’s seen me do everything in my control. That’s one of the most important relationships in my life. My mom, and my children.  

Community Promise Stories: Daniel

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?  

Sure. I’m Daniel. I’m 52. I’ve lived in the city all my life. I keep myself busy by reading books, watching movies. Go meet up with my friends and socialize. Beyond that, I don’t go to clubs or big places.   

What do you do for work? 

Right now I’m not working. Over the years, I worked at a bank, then I did some teaching at The Princeton Review. My last job was working at my family’s restaurant, up until 2021. 

Can you tell us about your history with substances and what brought you here? 

I started smoking marijuana as a teenager. I few years later I tried some cocaine and a few years later opioids like heroin. Cocaine wasn’t as big a problem for me as heroin. Heroin is tougher because of the physical effects.  

Have you overdosed before? 

Yes, recently. About a year ago. I got something from a new supplier. I didn’t do that much, just half a bag, but 15 minutes later, I was in a store shopping and fell over. The staff called 911 and they came right away and saved my life.  

How did you find Alliance for Positive Change, and when? 

I knew about LESHRC back when it was on Allen Street. I was living in Brooklyn.  

I’ve been living in the LES for a few years. I have my own apartment that I inherited from my parents. In a tenement building. My mom left me some money when she passed and that's paying the rent. 

What services do you access here? 

I come here for syringes, for clothing, food, and other support. I like going to groups, to hear different perspectives. It can go both ways, some people need to just cut out anyone they know who reminds them of the drug world. But for me, it has been healing. 

What have been your triggers that made you use drugs—whether while actively using, or after a long break? 

People I used to use with. And grief. My first relapse was when my fiancé passed away.  

But I’ve also stopped and stared a lot. I’ve tried methadone programs four times. I’d stay sober for a few months, one time for two years.  

And now you just started Suboxone? 

Yeah. There was some problem with health insurance not covering it, but Alliance worked with Medicaid to get started.  

I think I have realistic goals. it depends on how I feel. Maybe I will still need to use a little bit, but still use less, but my goal for sure is to stop using. If I put my mind to it, I know I can do it. One step at a time. I can’t over-predict.  

Do you have a vision of what that will look like? 

Get back to work. Improve my life situation. Be a normal person again. Go to work, go shopping for groceries, mundane things like that, but them being easier. 

What is your philosophy in life? 

I have a few. Treat people the way you want to be treated. You have to be self-reliant. To hear both sides of a story before I have an opinion on something. Everyone has their flaws, so be kind and cordial. 

Community Promise Stories: Cisco

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

My name is Cisco. I came up with a very close-knit family. And I’m blessed to still have a loving family after everything. I have a daughter, whose life I’ve been mostly absent from because I've served a total of almost 30 years in prison, I’ve been on Suboxone for ten years to stop using heroin and cocaine. I’m sharing my story with you because I hope it helps someone, somehow.

What are your interests?

I love to work out. I ride my bike to Blink gym a lot and work out. I like to watch TV and catch up with family members on my support system. My mother-in-law is my spiritual sponsor, so I love catching up with her. Idle time is bad for me, so I like to wake up with a game plan and direction for my day.

Can you tell us about your history with using substances?

When I was a kid, I found the neighborhood gang lifestyle pretty appealing. I was sexually active from a young age, and I would do the drugs that the girls I was with were doing. I was part of a gang.

Cocaine and heroin were the drugs that I was the most into and most dependent on. It all progressed until it started getting out of control. I had a problem with addiction and authority. I got into a lot of fights. I found myself in a bad place, and I started sticking up drug dealers. I had God looking over me in that they weren’t able to kill me.

I’m disabled from getting shot when I robbed two drug dealers in 1988. That was rock bottom and made me stop using drugs for a while, but I needed a few more rock bottoms.

I always heard prison was terrible, but for some reason, I wasn’t scared. I was about that gangster life. I had people bring me cocaine and heroin and smuggle it in for me. The first time I came home from prison in 1996, I almost died from an overdose.

What were your triggers in your recovery?

Sex was my biggest trigger, and the women I was with used a lot of drugs, so I did drugs with them. Boredom, too. That’s why now I like to try to make sure I don’t have time to waste. But it was also just pure addiction, medication—I couldn’t think or function without it.

How did you become introduced to Alliance for Positive Change?

I came home April 15 of this year, and Eugene from the Corrections Health Initiative program picked me up. He gave me the welcome home backpack. I had been in prison for almost 20 years straight, that time. I had had a few 5-6 year bids before, but this was my longest time I spent in prison.

How was such a long sentence different from your shorter sentences?

Well, I had a lot of time to think, and frankly, a lot of people I used to know on the outside forgot about me. So they stopped bringing me drugs like halfway through my sentence: I guess they forgot about me. I had to do something else with my boredom, so I got my food handler’s certificate, and hospice nurse training. I did it to impress the parole board, but I also liked the work.

What did your recovery look like while you were incarcerated?

I became the Chairman of the AA meetings in prison—there was no NA—and a few people were actually from the outside, who came there for the meetings. It was bullshit that there was no NA, so I would run the meetings and say, “I’m Cisco, I’m an alcoholic AND a drug addict.” I guess people liked that I was talking about something real, but that we weren’t supposed to talk about.

Without heroin, I needed to take something for the pain because I have these chronic injuries from my incidents with gangs and beatings I had from the correction officers in prison. I stopped using heroin on August 16, 2014. People stopped bringing me stuff because they thought I was never coming home. The prison wasn’t prescribing Suboxone, so I got it from another prisoner. I was getting it like this for over eight years, until January 2023, when the prison finally allowed us to get Suboxone.

How is your experience with Suboxone treatment at Alliance?

My body is used to it. I don’t have the physical or emotional cravings for heroin, and I think I’ve been over the psychological cravings for a while, really. When I was using a lot, I felt physically weak; I didn’t eat right, I didn’t sleep right, and everything hurt. That’s all much better now.

What other services are you accessing at Alliance?

The recovery group with Emily Levine (Project Manager, and Counselor), in Midtown Central is good for me. I don’t really like sharing in groups so the one-on-one sessions with Emily and Ana are good for me.

Since your recovery journey, have there been any other changes in your mentality?

I’ve also been super reserved about sex, too. I knew that was my biggest trigger, so coming out of prison, I thought I’d be all over the women who showed interest in me, even though I knew that could be bad for me. I’m actually impressed with myself because I haven’t been that guy—I’ve been patient. Sex has been cheap for me a lot of my life, but now I want something more meaningful.

What are your goals for the future?

I want to be of service. You can probably hear it in my voice, but I’ve got a lot of regrets, man. I feel like I wasted so much of my life. I’ve missed most of the moments with my daughter, but maybe I can help someone because of it. My daughter is in my life. I remember so many important dates, like the day she got out of the hospital after she was born with complications, the day her mother died, and the day I got arrested the final time. She resented me at one time, but she’s forgiven me, and that makes me so happy. She’s amazing, so mature and wise. And she’s made me a grandfather. She lives in the city, so I see her again now, which is a blessing.

I’m interested in becoming a Peer Worker at Alliance. I love the work you guys do here, and I’ve got the lived-experience. I’ve been where so many people Alliance helps have been, and I want to be able to help them. I’m interviewing for the next Peer Recovery Education Program training.

Community Promise Stories: Luis H.

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

I’m 48 years old. I’m an artist. I never went to school for it, my highest level of education is a GED, but I’ve been doing graffiti art for a long time, and I loved it since I was a kid in New York and Puerto Rico.

So you spent your childhood between those two places?

Yeah, I was born here, then moved to Puerto Rico and back a few times, coming back for good when I was 13, after my mother left my father. That last move was really bad for me, because I felt so alone here, and didn’t have friends in school. I missed the countryside of Puerto Rico.

When did your drug use start? And what were your drugs of choice?

When we moved back to New York the second time, when I was 13. I had no friends over here besides my cousins. One week in New York and I’m already smoking weed with my cousins, who were just a few years older than me.

I tried heroin at 15 with an older cousin, and didn’t try it again until 22 or 23. I was snorting it.

What was your drug use like in your 20s?

When I was younger, I was pretty successful, things were going well, I was kind of a playboy.

Heroin enhanced sex for me, so I liked that. I didn’t do it every day, because I knew I’d get addicted to it. I’d use on a Saturday and then not pick it up for weeks. After a couple years, I started liking it more and more, and then I was totally addicted. And cocaine was more or less the same thing.

So sex was a trigger for heroin?

Back then, yes. Now, it’s more just that if I don’t use, I feel in pain.

Cocaine was more to function, because at times      when I was trying to work to earn as much money as possible, I was always tired so I had to take cocaine to stay awake.

What do you do for work?

I’m an artist. I get paid for making the graffiti murals on      campuses. Apparel, painting, and all sorts of other work. You can follow me on Instagram @kerznyc.

It sounds like you’ve always been conscious of not building a dependence. Have you tried Medication-assisted treatment before?

I started taking Methadone in 2013, but I’m trying to cut down to a small dose and eventually transition to Suboxone. I’ve reduced my heroin use, but I’m still using, so I want to get off heroin. Especially now, with all the new chemicals in the drug supply, I can feel the xylazine and fentanyl in the batches I take.

Have you overdosed before?

I’ve overdosed at least 12 times, all before I started Methadone in 2013, and back then it was just heroin, none of the stuff in the supply now. Sometimes it was friends, sometimes paramedics who revived me. One time I was in a park and I was super out of it, and the only reason I lived is because a lady walking her dog saw me, and called the ambulance. If she hadn’t seen me, I would’ve died. God had that lady walking through there at night for a reason.

 Every year, I go back to the park where this happened, in the Bronx, and I touch the tree where I was when the lady saved me. I call it the tree of life.  

That’s beautiful. So if you’re still actively taking heroin, and sometimes cocaine, but haven’t overdosed in 11 years, is that just good luck, or what?

Now I ALWAYS test my drugs. If I don’t know my supplier, I’ll just take a half a bag at first, to make sure it’s cool. And being able to test my drugs with the test strips you’ve got here at Alliance, that’s big.

How long have you been coming to Alliance for Positive Change?

I found Alliance about 5 years ago, when you were on Allen St. I came here for the syringe exchange, because I never wanted to share needles, and I appreciated that the people running the syringe exchange never judged me. Actually, they congratulated me for being safer about my use, getting sterile syringes. I used to come here just for needles, now that’s the thing I need the least here. I probably come here for needles once every 40 times. I come here for coffee, for a safe place to hang out, especially when it’s super hot or super cold, because I’ve experienced homelessness for a long time, and I can’t stay on friends’ couches all the time.

A lot of the people we serve are experiencing homelessness. That’s a tough situation when you’re trying to change behaviors.

Oh yeah, the shelter system is really tough. You’ve got to find a good place where they actually treat you like a person, not like your parole officer. I’ve stayed at places like that, where every few weeks they’ll move you around—if you don't do this you lose your bed, it’s really messed up.

Now I’ve got a room in a shelter that doesn’t make you check in all the time, it’s pretty cool, and I applied for Section 8 housing. Some of the case managers here are helping me take the housing vouchers to try to find an apartment. I want a safe place to live, so I can take care of my physical health.

How has your drug use changed since you’ve been coming here?

My drug use is way down, and when I use, I use way less.

I’ve done a bunch of one-on-one sessions with Ana, talking about my traumas and what led me to take these steps to stop using. I’ve had to deal with the fact that I’ve lost friends to overdoses, one guy injected himself in the neck because all his other veins were all used up. He died right in front of me. It takes a while to process stuff like that.

What do you want to do when you’ve completely stopped using?

I want to travel. Right now I’m restricted, because of the methadone. I can’t go to a graffiti competition in Chicago, because I don't want to have to deal with the backlash from missing a few sessions of Methadone.

I want to go back to Puerto Rico, I have so many great memories of being there, in the countryside. Because I really love nature. I grew up around horses and roosters, and I loved it. I want more time to focus on those things.

You’ve mentioned being around nature, and animals. What are some of your other hobbies?

I love being outdoors most of all, and everything outdoors, like fishing, camping, hiking, horseback riding, all that stuff. I have an aunt down in Maryland that I’d visit because she was near all these different rivers so I’d swim all these places, anywhere! I’ve held big snapping turtles, and alligators, it’s exciting, man! I love nature.

Community Promise Stories: Wilson R.

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

My name is Wilson R. I’m 54 years old. Haven’t used drugs in seven months, and I’m feeling good about myself, saving my money. Back in the day I was a kind of bad boy. I got into a lot of foolishness, and my problem with drugs was a big part of it.

When did your drug use start? And what were your drugs of choice?

I was like 13 years old when I started smoking weed and taking heroin. I started slinging it at 13, too. I spent 17 years in prison, but I’ve been out since 2005, and proud I haven’t been back.

What were some of your triggers? Did they change from when you were a teenager, first starting to use heroin, to last year?

No, not really. The people, places, and things that triggered me might’ve changed, but it was always anxiety, anger, and pain. I lost important family members and friends close to me from a young age. I don’t like talking about it.

Okay, of course. Sorry. Can you tell us how you came to find Alliance for Positive Change?

Yeah, I was hanging out in the library up the block and saw signs for the harm reduction center. This was about June 2023. I was already taking Methadone to try to quit heroin, but it wasn’t working. I talked to some of the people here, they were really cool, and I started sitting in on the daily groups here. I don’t really do N.A. (Narcotics Anonymous) but I found it easy being with the people here. I hang out here when I’m not at work, I feel a sense of—I don’t know—community.

Oh and I took the Narcan training here, and a few weeks later I saved someone’s life because I saw them overdosing and gave them Narcan.

Was it a friend?

No, just a total stranger. I was just in the right place, right time.

Wow. So did you say you made the switch from Methadone to Suboxone last year?

Yeah, I think it was November. Dr. Hopping talked to me about treatment options. I wasn’t liking Methadone, because I could still get high from heroin while taking it. He helped me transition to Suboxone, which works better for me because on Suboxone I couldn’t feel the high from heroin, so that kind of removed the temptation (*Editor's note: some people report this side effect, while others do still feel the high from opioids while on Suboxone, a Medication-assisted treatment that consists of Narcan, and Buprenorphine, an opioid receptor blocker which blocks cravings.*)

I started out at a dose of 100mg and I’m now at 50mg.

Congratulations. Is the temptation to use totally gone, or—

No, no, definitely not, it’s still hard not using, but it gets a little less hard every day.

It sounds like Suboxone isn’t the only change you’ve made it your life to stop using. What else have you been doing?

I don’t hang out with the people I used to when I was high. It really is true that the people, places, and things you associate with drugs are the most tempting. But also, working with Ana, my Recovery Coach, has changed my mindset. I see things differently now. I learned to think things out more, instead of just reacting. I can be impulsive, so she’s helped me slow down and think.

Are there any other changes in your life lately?

Yeah, the two big ones are financial and housing. Well, I got a job in sanitation with a private company last year, and I just got promoted. Honestly, if I had been offered the job when I was still using heroin, I would’ve turned it down. Now, though, I kind of think things through. I got a promotion there, which is more money, but changes my shift from nights to mornings, which is going to be a tough change—at first. Like anything, change is always hard. But yeah, I’m getting my first debit card, and trying to find some financial literacy classes, to save my money a little bit. 

Congrats. What’s the other big change?

I got an apartment. I started the process after I was released from prison in 2005, but never finished it until last year. Let me tell you, it’s way easier to be sober with a roof over your head. I come here, listen to people’s stories, and then I go to work, or I go home.

Lots of changes: sobriety, housing, more money and financial literacy. Is it overwhelming?

It’s a lot of change, but it’s good, you know? I think the biggest change is just my mindset. I try to really think things through more, not just be impulsive. I think every day, the hard things get a little less hard.

Community Promise Stories: Enrique

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

My name is Enrique L. I’m 68, originally from Puerto Rico, although I came to New York 35 years ago.

What do you do for fun?

I like to clean and organize things around the house. And I like to cook traditional Puerto Rican food like arroz con gandules.

How did you come to find Alliance for Positive Change?

When I was released from prison in December, I was connected with Eugene, from Alliance’s Corrections Health Initiative. He helped me—I was incarcerated for a long time, so I’m not used to smart phones, and other stuff most people are.

We don’t have to get into the subject of your incarceration, unless you want to talk about it?

We can talk about it. I like to share my story. Maybe it can help someone else. I was addicted to heroin and crack. Getting high was the most important thing in my life, and, when I was living on the street, I killed someone for drugs. I was in prison for 27 years.

How did you come to start taking heroin and crack?

After I came to New York from Puerto Rico with my wife, about 35 years ago. I never did drugs before then, but I started hanging out other Nuyorican guys who were injecting heroin and kept pressuring me to try it. I thought they were my friends but when I said “no” they kept saying “just do it” and I finally said yes.

What is your current drug use?

None. I haven’t at all in like 10 years, even though drugs were around in prison. When I was using drugs, I would get angry and fight with my wife and my boss. I’m not usually like that, you can see, I’m a pretty quiet, calm guy. I didn’t feel like myself. I lost my wife and kids, my job, and was sleeping on the street, living only for heroin.

What was the biggest thing for your drug abstinence?

In prison, they offered prescription Suboxone (a prescribed Medication-assisted therapy made to reduce withdrawal cravings for opioids) and I took it because I didn’t want to feel that way again. I wanted to stop using. Drugs were around in prison, but I didn’t use much, and not at all in the last 10 years. I wanted to feel like myself again.

 As soon as I got released and found Alliance, I got a Suboxone treatment plan and I can pick it up every few weeks. It’s been easy.

Enrique with his Alliance case worker, Ana

Besides Suboxone, what else is an important part of your recovery?

Groups. I like to talk with the other people here, even the ones who are using. Just hearing their stories helps me. And my counselor, Ana. She’s great. We speak in Spanish, Spanglish, and English, whatever. 

I get supportive services because I have HIV. I got it from sharing needles when I was living on the street. I’m fine sharing that with anyone, I don’t have anything to hide.

Now that you’re feeling like Suboxone is working, what are some of your goals?

My kids. I was incarcerated most of their lives, but they see I'm not on drugs and we reconnected. I got to meet my grandson, which was—it was really special.

I can live on a fixed income and I’m about to move into my own apartment. With some privacy, I’m looking forward to having my children stay with me sometimes. I’m happy.

Women’s History Month at Alliance LES Harm Reduction Center: Evelyn

Women’s History Month is a chance to honor the progress of women across all fields. Women have played tremendous roles in the history of all the services that Alliance provides, including HIV testing, treatment, awareness, and advocacy; income equality; fair housing; and more. In the field of harm reduction, women have led agencies from the National Harm Reduction Coalition to Harm Reduction International and New Jersey Harm Reduction Coalition.

Participants at Alliance LES Harm Reduction Center shared their experiences and perspectives during Women’s History Month.

Evelyn M.

Q: Hi Evelyn. Thanks for talking with us. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

A: Well, I’m 64 year-old Nuyorican. I live in the neighborhood, just a few blocks away.

Q: What do you like to do for fun?

A: I like going on long walks, fixing things like broken furniture, and being with my sisters, who live further up the East Side. But when I’m on drugs, I avoid them. I don’t want my problem to become theirs.

Q: How long have you been coming to Alliance LES Harm Reduction Center?

A: I started coming here a little more than a year ago. I get safer smoking supplies like pipes, and I get counseling and care management services here. I get Methadone at a clinic nearby, but it’s not enough to help me overcome drugs, which is my goal.

Q: What other resources do you think will help you with your sobriety goals?

A: I think I have a better chance if I move somewhere else. Being around the same people that I’ve done drugs with is enabling my habits, I’ve got to move somewhere else. NYCHA has approved me for a housing transfer, but I haven’t been able to find somewhere closer to my sisters.

Q: Affordable housing is complicated.

A: Yeah, it is. Ana, my counselor, and my case worker Luis, are amazing. They help me get my benefits. And Luis is trying to help me get me into Bellevue Hospital’s detox program. They check in every day they see me, and try to get me a bed, because I’ve got to detox, I have to. He got me a telehealth appointment and sat with me the whole time, for my Bellevue screening. But I don’t want to go to detox until I can move somewhere away from the people that enable my addiction, so it’s all pretty complicated.

Q: Besides being with people that you feel enable your drug use, what are your biggest triggers?

A: Feeling depressed, and anxious. Talking to Ana and a psychiatrist helps, but I can’t do that every second.

Q: You’re a participant in our CHOICES Medication-Assisted Treatment program, right? How does that fit into your life?

A: Yeah, I like going to groups to hear other people’s stories. Listening helps.

Q: Are there any specific services just for women that you can get here?

A: I like that we have a women’s group here, to discuss what’s going on in our lives. I like that there’s a clothing room here and we can get clean pads and panties.

Q: In your experience, what are some of the challenges that women who use drugs face more than men?

A: I think women who are on parole or actively using drugs have a harder time getting hired for jobs than men in the same situation. I think people underestimate us a lot.

Q: Since it’s Women’s History Month, can you tell us who are some of your sheroes?

A: Definitely Helen Keller. She was so brave and overcame so much.

Q: If you weren’t using actively, how would life be different?

A: Well I would spend more time with my sisters, going to amusement parks and movies, like we do when I’m sober. And I also want to move out to Pennsylvania to be near my son and grandkids. They’re out in the country, I think that would be nice, relaxing for me.

Community Promise Stories: Dr. Glenn Jeffery

Q) Can you tell us a little about yourself, and what you do?

A) I grew up in a small Canadian town on a farm in the province of Prince Edward Island, northeast of Maine. I had grandiose dreams of moving to a big city and becoming a renowned psychiatrist, and for better or worse I am still fundamentally that guy.

I have practiced psychiatry and addiction medicine for over 30 years in New York City. I am actually in recovery myself, from prescription pill dependency, on psychostimulants and benzodiazepines.

I’ve worked in a variety of settings, inpatient, outpatient, and in psychiatric emergency rooms, on mobile crisis and assertive community treatment teams, in a state hospital and on Riker’s Island.

Q) How and when did you start working with Alliance?

A) Definitely a higher power sort of moment. I live and take daily walks in the Lower East Side, and one day in 2015 I was walking by the old harm reduction clinic at 25 Allen Street, and on a whim popped in and asked the staff if they needed a prescriber. Deborah Yuelles was one of the people who greeted me and she said “yes, we do.”

Since then, I’ve worked about two days a week at the clinic. A large part of my practice consists of prescribing buprenorphine (also known by its most popular brand name, Suboxone). Buprenorphine is medication-assisted treatment for opioid dependence. I work closely with Jose Sanchez, who is the buprenorphine coordinator. He balances out my neurotic tendencies, and has a calm, suave aura. He’s a wonderful guy.

Q) You said you are in recovery, yourself. When did that start, and why?

A) For many years, since my late 20s, I had received psychiatric treatment for depression and anxiety. Along the way, I became dependent on some of the medications used to treat me, in my case psychostimulants and benzodiazepines.

I got into recovery 12 years ago, at a time when I had crashed hard from a psychostimulant-induced manic episode, got fired from a clinical position, and was unable to work for a year and a half.  My late wife My-Lan, a social worker, encouraged me to go to the weekly NYC Caduceus healthcare recovery meetings, which I hated immensely at first, telling myself (and them) “I’m not like the rest of you folks.” The fellowship I have found in meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous have also been extremely helpful.

Q) Can you share some success stories of people you’ve prescribed for?

A) Measuring “success” in my field can mean any number of things. It can be someone staying on Suboxone (buprenorphine/naloxone), not using heroin or opioids and feeling empowered to move forward in life. One such patient called me five minutes ago and currently works in the recovery field. He’s been through many medical and personal misadventures but has stayed stable and I’m proud of him.

We treat folks from all walks of life, from teachers, artists and graduate students, to people coming out of prison, and re-integrating into society. One of our patients just came off lifetime parole, which is very gratifying to witness.  He put a lot of hard work into that, over the years.

Q) You currently prescribe Suboxone. Is that better or worse than other medically-assisted treatments?

A) I think it depends of the individual, and it’s important to hear what the individual is needing.  For instance, some people have better success on methadone than Suboxone (buprenorphine). Buprenorphine is less intrusive, typically requiring visits the clinic only once or twice a month. However, some people seem to need the stability and structure of methadone clinics, with their near-daily pick-ups of the medication. Prescribing Suboxone is the same as anything else in harm reduction: meeting someone where they’re at.

Q) What do you see as common risk behaviors for relapses?

A) As they say, “people, places and things,” ie, going back to unhealthy associates or haunts. Or getting the “eff-its,” ie, giving up hope that things can be better.  I’d also say coming into big money, is one I’ve seen. Also, unaddressed mental health issues.

Q) You’ve been working in the field for over 30 years. Has harm reduction changed in that time?

A) There’s more openness to decriminalization and resources for people with substance dependency. Some people still get mad about syringes or “vagrancy” and some of the problems that our participants can be involved in, but people understand more that substance dependency is something that needs help. Less punitive, which is nice.

Q) Where else do you currently practice addiction medicine?

A) I also work for Samaritan Daytop Village’s assertive community treatment (ACT) team based out of the Myrtle Ave Men’s Shelter.  It’s mostly working with chronically mentally ill folks with schizophrenia or bipolar diagnoses, but many of them have addiction issues as well.

Q) Is there something you’d say that makes you relate better to patients, aside from your history of substance dependency?

A) I try not to be dogmatic about treatment. The idea of harm reduction is to meet people where they are at, using medications that are helpful. For many people that’s enough. Others may find getting spiritual help, in the path of their own choosing, such as you find in 12-step rooms, enhances their recovery.  As they say in the rooms of recovery, "Take what you need, leave the rest behind.”

Q) If you could do anything else in your personal or professional life, what would it be and why?

A) I take screenwriting classes. I’m really interested in the stories of my great-great grandfather and my great-grandfather, who were sea captains out of Cape Cod and the Gulf of St. Lawrence. They both had wild, mostly self-inflicted, misadventures in their lives. These stories I didn’t find out about until I was hitting some bad times in my own life, and I think in some way they mystically reached out to me at that time. I hope to do them justice someday, by bringing their stories to life.

Community Promise Stories: "J"

I’d like to go by “J.” I’m 59 years old. I joined Alliance’s CHOICES in April after I overdosed three straight times when I took what I thought was heroin. If the ambulances hadn't saved me, I'd be dead. 

 I had been doing heroin, crack, angel dust, pills, and valium for 45 years. Heroin hadn't been "fun" for me for a while, and I’d tried to quit it a lot. My body craved it, and I was in serious pain without it. Heroin you feel physically. Crack is mental. Without heroin, your body hurts everywhere. 

Heroin was also the worst drug for me because the things I did to make money for it were dehumanizing. Some of these things landed me in jail, and I was taking methadone when I was in jail, but when I got out, I'd crave heroin and start all over again. Nothing had changed.

After that third overdose in April, I said no more. NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital from the Bronx referred me to Alliance, and after consulting the staff here I started taking Suboxone. They eased me into it with low doses, called microdosing, and I take Suboxone twice a day.

I come to group therapy meetings here. I don't talk much, but I listen to other people. It helps a little, but being on Suboxone is helping me more. Now I don't even think about heroin. I feel proud of myself. Oh yeah I do! I don't wake up sick anymore and have to go get money and get to a spot to get my fix. It's been over three months. I feel like I got another chance. 

Now with my extra time and money, I want to take care of myself with healthier food and nicer clothes, and enjoy my apartment. I'm not the most social guy. I like to walk around, go to parks. I've always had anxiety and depression. I know that's not going to go away just because I got sober. 

I receive social security because of my anxiety and depression. I have PTSD. I was seeing a psychiatrist with another program, but I was discharged and cut off from them. Alliance is helping me find another psychiatrist.  

Thank God I got on Suboxone. Life isn't going to be easy, I still have these challenges that I can't control, but I'm glad to be sober.

I'd tell people who are interested in Suboxone it's your choice, I respect whatever you do. It's their own choice, I can't tell anyone what to do. But I know it worked for me.

Community Promise Stories: Rafael

My name is Rafael. I’m originally from the Lower East Side. I’m currently staying by the McDonalds on Madison Street near here. I appreciate being able to come to Alliance LES Harm Reduction Center for safer use supplies, socks, and all that. I’m a participant in Alliance’s CHOICES program.

I got trained in how to use Narcan in 2004, by the LESHRC team at your old site on Allen Street. The first overdose I saw was in 2013. It happened to one of my friends. At the time, it was actually just heroin, no fentanyl or xylazine. Nowadays overdoses are a lot more common. Just today I had to use Narcan on my boyfriend. And yesterday I Narcan-ed someone else.

These days, I mostly use crack/cocaine. I go to the methadone clinic across the street from LESHRC, which helps me reduce cravings for heroin, but it doesn’t help with my emotional needs like coming here does, and of course they don’t give me the safer use kits I need, like the sterile syringes.

I’m a hard worker, I’ve done HVAC, roofing, anything that comes my way. I’m looking for more steady work, and I’m going to try to apply to Alliance’s Peer Recovery Education Program.

My boyfriend says I have so much potential and can manifest anything I put my mind to.”

I love helping people. I don’t get nervous or scared anymore when someone overdoses, because I’ve seen it so many times. I notice the way their body or face looks, and I ask them what their name is, where they are, to see if there’s any kind of response.

If I could share one message with people about drug use, it would be that it’s okay to ask for help. I train all my friends how to use Narcan and how to test drugs for fentanyl and xylazine. I love what y’all do here at LESHRC. You’ve helped me save dozens of people’s lives. I hope to work here one day and keep up the good work.