Community Promise Stories: Khari

Can you tell us a little about yourself? How would people close to you describe you?  

I’m 48 years old. I’m a native New Yorker, born in the Bronx. I’m an outgoing person. I like to work outdoors, and play sports. All sports. Football, basketball, baseball, softball, field hockey, track, everything. I’m a Raiders fan because my favorite uncle was a Raiders fan, that’s why I wanted you to use a photo of Bo Jackson. I love God, I feel very spiritual. I used drugs for a very long-time. I’m sober now, and I’m writing a memoir going through different events in my life, because I have a story to tell. I think I can uplift and encourage people going through similar situations. 

What should I call you? Some people we interview like to go by pseudonyms-- 

You can use my real name. I’m very proud of myself. I’m proud of taking big steps to try to change my life. You have to want it in your heart. If you don’t really want it, you’re not going to be successful for long. I wanted this and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I don’t think anyone’s going to understand what that means until they’ve been there. Once I made up my it was like “okay, what am I going to do now?”  

When did you start using, and what were your drugs of choice? 

In my teenage years. I started with powder cocaine, drinking. Heroin didn’t really come into play until my early 20s. That pretty much took over everything else, it was my entire life. It was a physical addiction.  

What are your triggers? 

Well, I couldn’t physically function without heroin. But stress at home was a trigger too, for sure. Any type of stress. Stress at home. What’s different right now is the change in my heart. I’m sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. My first few weeks on methadone, I still had the urge to use heroin again. But I had made up my mind.  

How long has it been since you last used? How has your life changed since then?  

I’ve been sober since December. I was sober for longer before, but that was when I was incarcerated, so it wasn’t really my choice to not use. Now it is.  

My mentality is so much more positive now than it was before I stopped using. Everything is half full now, not half empty. It’s not like “oh no, if I lose this half, I’m empty.” Now it’s like “Okay, I’ve got a half glass, that means I can get another and I’ll be full!” My life circumstances aren’t great, I’m still living in a shelter, but my mind state is totally different.  

What are your goals now? 

Things with my family are good, and a lot of that is due to my mentality. I have five kids with the same partner, ages 3 to 28. I don’t live with them but me and my partner now talk on the phone every night, and we’ve gotten closer. We’re both spiritual, and my half full mentality is helping us both feel confident.  

What are some reasons people wouldn’t want to become sober? 

Self-denial, because drugs are so powerful. They can dull the memories of just how good things can be. I missed the family memories and connection to God when I was using all the time. I’ve missed that so, so much, and I didn’t know it until I got sober.  

When did you start coming to Alliance LES Harm Reduction Center?  

A friend of mine told me about the methadone program that I’ve been on, and he also referred me to Alliance in November. I got Narcan and safer use supplies a few times but then I stopped using drugs.  

I come to Alliance’s groups, different days. Everything stays in the group, we respect confidentiality and we have open discussions to speak what’s on your mind. It’s freeing. Sometimes I need a little encouragement, and the people in our groups always give it. It keeps me motivated, it’s nice to hear. Everyone needs encouragement. 

And then I can talk to Ana, the CHOICES program manager, and Luis, my case manager. They’re amazing. Luis helped me set up social security appointments, and he came with me to dental surgery to take care of me afterward.  

It’s nice to know there are people who care in their heart.  Because I have a history of incarceration and drug use, a lot of people write you off, but I’m so grateful for the people in my life who care.  

What are your near-term plans and goals? 

In the near-future, I plan on moving into housing with the help of my case manager at the shelter . So they’ll let me look at a few places and I’ll move in within the next month or two. Then I’m going to see what type of jobs I can get. I have some medical conditions and I don’t want to do any more damage to my body. I want to re-enter physical therapy to heal up from a serious back surgery I had years ago. I had two crushed vertebrates, doctors thought I wouldn’t walk again, but I did. I walk with a walker but I want to dedicate myself even more to physical therapy and heal up so I don’t need that walker.  

I want to get some part time work and still keep my disability entitlements.  Like I said, I’m also writing a memoir. I want to publish it and get it out into the world.  

Community Promise Stories: "Sally"

What’s your name, or what should we call you? 

Call me Sally. *I want to remain anonymous because I have anxiety. It’s not at all because I’m ashamed. I preach Alliance’s services all the time to people, and I thank HRA for referring me. This place saves lives. And you put up with a lot, you work with people going through heavy shit. 

We’re all in the same boat. Stigmatizing us isn’t going to get us anywhere. I just want to remain anonymous for reasons I can’t even articulate, just my anxiety, but I really want to share my story in case it helps anyone going through similar circumstances.* 

Can you tell us a little about yourself?  

I grew up in Flushing, Queens. I’ve been in Flushing my whole life. My parents’ house is two blocks from where I live now. My parents were my best friends. But I have a wonderful partner, he’s been with me for about 16 years, through everything. He’s also a client at Alliance.  

What are your hobbies? 

I like to read. I’m a big horror fanatic; I’ve read every Stephen King book at least three times. Gerald’s Game is probably my favorite book. I watch the movie adaptations of all and they’re good but none do justice to his writing. He’s brilliant. I mean, The Shining movie is pretty good.  

When did you start coming to Alliance and what services do you access here?  

About a year ago. I go to other care management agencies too, but they don’t provide the structure Alliance does. A friend recommended me to Alliance just before the start of the pandemic, so I didn’t really come too much. But I come here for groups on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. It’s a long ride from Flushing, but I love the groups here, and the routine of coming here is really helpful for my mental health.  

Fan art of Stephen King, found at https://www.pinterest.com/pin/470907704760464150/

Do you work? 

I had to quit my job because it was taking a major toll on my mental health. I used to work 7 days/week, and believe me, if I could work, I would. But it’s always been terrible for my mental health, caring for that is really like a full-time job. Believe me, I want to. 

What were your drugs of choice? 

Alcohol, because I was bartending, so it was unavoidable. And then I got into cocaine and heroin. Since I started Methadone in 2014, it curbs my cravings. I’m down to one bag a day. Quitting cocaine is a walk in the park. It’s mental. Benzos and opiates are physical. You feel the sickness all over your body.  

Because I’m an addict, it really takes a lot of structure to not abuse any of the pills I’m prescribed for my chronic conditions, but I don’t. I take five medications, six if you count the methadone. (On Medicaid, Food Stamps, Welfare—applying for Disability) 

I don’t smoke or inject drugs, but I typically sniff them, so the safer sniffing kits are great for keeping myself safe. 

What has your recovery looked like? 

Relapses are going to happen. I don’t need to be stigmatized. I  

I joined the program in 2014 doing almost 100 bags a day. I joined Human Resources Administration (HRA).  

What services do you get at Alliance? 

Support groups and safer use supplies. I’m in Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. My God, I love the women’s group on Fridays. Everyone who runs our groups, CC, Lillian, Carol, are amazing. They’re like family. I’m in care management as well, they’re always looking out for me, and currently they are helping me apply for disability. 

What were some of your triggers? 

Anxiety. I have severe PTSD, anxiety, and much more, so it’s very easy for things to trigger me. So having structure is big for me. I go all the way to Alliance and HRA (also in lower Manhattan) because the routines are important for me. Having a good support system helps my mental health.  

Do you have any reservations about taking Suboxone instead of methadone? 

I was on Suboxone many years ago, but I felt the doctor who prescribed it to me was very rude and impatient. For one reason or another, it stopped working eventually, and my methadone treatment is doing pretty good for me. I go to a methadone clinic near Alliance.  

How do you think your life will be different when you’ve been sober for months or years? 

I’ll have more control over my life, I’ll be more relaxed in general. I’ll savor the little things more because something won’t have a hold over me, I’ll be so at peace.  

What are the small victories in your recovery, and how do you savor them?  

When I decide not to use an extra bag, or I can go another day without it, because this is a disease I’ve been living with for decades! Talking about my recovery is a victory. Staying on top of my health issues, like my heart, and my mental health are small victories.  

What advice can you give to someone who’s just beginning their recovery journey? 

Find the people who care about you, and be honest with them. Especially your care managers, they are there to help you. Be honest with yourself, most of all. How are you going to know how to get from A to B if you don’t even know what A is? And look, there’s a lot of case management agencies in New York, but a lot of the people are overworked and underpaid, so you need to find the right agency that cares about you and works for you.  

Do you have a philosophy in life, or in harm reduction? 

Harm reduction saves lives, hands down. Meeting a person wherever they’re at in their journey makes a huge difference. I mean, so many people are laser focused on abstinence, that just isn’t possible for everyone. It’s a disease. I’ve been battling this for decades, I’m not where I want to be, but I’m close! And without harm reduction centers, I might’ve died before I could get to this place. This is my journey, and I’ll stay the course until I get where I want to be.  

Community Promise Stories: Dr. Bryan Hopping

Can you tell us a little about yourself?  

I am a psychiatrist and addiction psychiatrist originally from Alabama and Georgia. I’ve worked with Alliance for almost five years, helping people reduce or stop their opioid use with prescription Suboxone. I’m good friends with Alliance’s other prescriber, Dr. Jeffery. 

Do you work anywhere else besides Alliance? 

Yes, I'm only at Alliance two days a week, between CASA and LES Harm Reduction Center. So I do work for another recovery clinic in Harlem where people can have group counseling and medication services. When I was in residency, I worked in hospital settings, but I love the way community centers approach holistic healing.  

What are your hobbies? 

I am a runner. I picked it up about a year ago. I’ve had lots of mental health struggles in my life, and tried many things, but running has been really transformative for me. It’s the foundation of my mental health and self-care. I run 5 miles a few times a week, and the shift in my mental health is so profound. 

How long have you been in this line of work? 

Almost 15 years. My career was shaped by my personal experiences in childhood.  

My sister was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder when I was young, so I had a front row seat to mental health issues. In those days, people treated mental illness very differently than today. She was in the hospital for over a year. Witnessing the chaotic, traumatic treatment process was very eye-opening. I saw how treatment could impact families. I’m also in recovery, myself. 

I want to get your perspective on the work itself, but first can we talk about your experience with substance dependency? What were your drugs of choice? 

I would do any drug at any time with anyone. My drug use history is long and intensive, from alcohol to heroin to methamphetamines.  

What has your recovery looked like? 

I’ve struggled and recovered and been sober for a while, and then “relapsed.” Like most people in recovery, it's not linear. Things can be going well and then a tragedy or hardship occurs and they go back. For example, I had just got out of rehab when my sister died by suicide, and then I started using again.  

So it’s all about trying, and trying again, and getting to a place where your routine and lifestyle is working for you. 

A lot of our participants talk about needing to totally restructure the people, places, and things in their recovery. Was that true for you? 

It resonates for me, especially the people part. Isolation is such a big part of drug use, and CONNECTING with people is a huge part of healing. Getting that community support, and actually getting better in general is essential for healing. Connecting and showing up and forming recovery connections. I’ve tried NA and AA, and they’re a key part of my life. I need a complete lifestyle. 

I also go to a recovery group for health care professionals in recovery. It’s a great community because we have similar experiences and professional settings, so that theme of community is a huge part of my recovery.   

I’m gay so I also go to gay addicts' meetings, which offers that niche community of people who really understand my experience. Whatever your background, there’s a community. 

Did you ever take Suboxone? 

My heroin use was actually a long time ago, so I was actually never on Suboxone. Suboxone wasn’t really around back then. 

You currently prescribe Suboxone. Is that better or worse than other medically-assisted treatments? 

I’ve never prescribed other forms, though I briefly worked in a methadone clinic. I’ve given Sublocade which is the injection long-acting form of Suboxone. It’s great for people who’ve adjusted well to Suboxone (taken twice daily) who want a monthly shot.  It’s catching on with our participants because the level of Sublocade stays consistent in your body. It’s constant all day, it’s so gradual that most people don’t notice. Yes, some people start noticing it by the end of the month, but for most people they aren’t feeling daily highs and lows. 

What is the hardest part of this line of work?  

Addiction is a chaotic illness, and it is difficult to deal with. Accepting the fact that not everyone is going to follow a comfortable, familiar linear trajectory is difficult to accept. Much like my own history, it’s not linear, and you have to learn to role with it, but it’s painful to see people struggle. But I have to be onboard for people’s journeys, the positive parts and the difficult parts. 

What’s the most rewarding? 

Seeing people take even small steps forward. I’m the biggest cheerleader in the room for my patients. I love seeing them go a few days without picking up, learning to appreciate small victories.   

What do you see as common risk behaviors for relapses? 

Isolation and loneliness. And that’s where counseling and strategizing with patients really comes into play. A lot of people know their risk behaviors, but don’t have strategies to avoid them, or coping mechanisms. That’s why Alliance is so special, because there are groups full of people who’ve been there, and get it.  

If you could do anything else in your personal or professional life, what would it be and why? 

I’d probably go back to a Buddhist monastery where I spent four years a few decades ago, the Tassajara Zen Mountain Center in California. I had read this amazing book “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind” and went to the monastery the author founded, intending to stay for a few weeks. It turned out to be a lot longer! We studied Buddhism, and we had no computers, no technology. We got up at 4:00am to meditate, did different jobs to support the monastery. I’d love to go back to that for a few years, that simple lifestyle of spirituality.  

Community Promise Stories: Joseph

Can you tell us a little about yourself? 

I’m Joseph and I’m from New York City. I was raised in Queens. I dropped out of school in seventh grade but later got my GED and went to college. I was proud to be the first in my family to do that.  

I’m an entertainer, I love entertaining. I’ve been a dancer and a choreographer for over 40 years. I’ve been in recovery for over 20 years now. I’m a member of, and a big believer in the organization Rehabilitation Through the Arts.  

Let’s talk about it. What is Rehabilitation Through the Arts? 

RTA is an organization for people serving time, like I was, who care about the arts. Some of them have a professional background like I’d had, and others don’t. But for people whose reason for staying sober is the arts, this is a supportive community. And when I went to an RTA meeting, I was asked to write answers to the question “Who am I?” and it was the hardest thing I ever did. I wrote something so deep, I couldn’t recite it without breaking down crying.  

I’ve got this great network through RTA. They want me to come back and talk to prisoners about my experience. I would totally do that, but my schedule keeps me busy, and I need to preserve my wellness and not overburden myself. 

Was trying to be sober the reason you started taking Suboxone [the medication widely prescribed for people with substance use dependency]? When did you start taking Suboxone? 

No, I was already sober for many years. I was self-medicating with Suboxone. I had put my body through a lot with my addiction, and Suboxone helped the pain. I started buying illegal Suboxone in prison, and then when New York State legalized it for inmates, I got it legally.  

Is there a big Suboxone market in prison? If so, why do you think that is? 

Yeah there definitely is. I started buying it in 2012. I think a lot of people in prison want to stop using, but they know detox is rough. But they also want to get high, so it’s a tough balance. Suboxone kind of kills the high from opioids, so it’s like a waste of your money to take drugs if you’re also on Suboxone, which a lot of people in prison found out the hard way. 

What do you think is a big reason people who want to be sober struggle with it, with or without Suboxone? 

Pain. Emotional or physical pain. Or a lot of times it’s both. In my situation, it was more about loving the lifestyle of party, party, party, and then not being able to deal with the comedown.  

When you were using drugs, what were your drugs of choice? 

I used a lot of cocaine. It came with the lifestyle, I was a professional breakdancer in the 1980s. I got introduced to coke on tour. Whenever I’d snort, I’d get these awful nose bleeds, so I freebased. And I got into a vicious cycle of robbing and stealing to buy cocaine and going to prison. I finally had enough during my last time in jail. 

When did you start coming to Alliance LES Harm Reduction Center? 

When I was released from prison. Alliance has a great program that helps people adjust to life outside. My guys Ruben and Eugene really helped me out, and when we talked Suboxone, they told me about the program here. So I’ve been seeing Dr. Jeffery for about two years now, he checks in on my response to Suboxone.  

Are you accessing any other services here? 

No, not really. I work full-time, although I’m currently on medical leave after having hip surgery. I actually refused a prescription of Oxys after my surgery, and I’ve just kept moving, and I’m healing up great. But no, my reentry program was about six months, and after that I’ve stuck to the Suboxone program with Dr. Jeffery. Great guy. I completely trust him.  

I ask because I know a lot of people in recovery need stability and groups are helpful for them. 

Yes, absolutely. I’m all about stability, I have my little routines. And I’ve got a great support system in my life right now. I’m in a good relationship. I’m healing up and doing some choreography. I go back to work in a few weeks. And I’m a dog owner.  

Community Promise Stories: Kayshawn

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?  

My name is Kayshawn. I’m 36. I’m a native New Yorker, originally from Flatbush, Brooklyn. It’s been seven years since I stopped using drugs.

Before we get a little deeper into your story and your perspective, what are your hobbies?  

I like to spend time with family and close friends that are good to me. I’m an introvert. I like walks, anime, music, writing in my journal, sitting in the park. Tompkins Square Park, Washington Square, and Union Square are beautiful, or just sitting by the river, it can be very peaceful. 

I am part of the CHOICES program even though I don’t take Suboxone. I’m in therapy with Dr. Jeffery, usually once a month.   

Can you tell us about your history with substances and what brought you here? 

Cocaine is the drug I was using the most. I’m an introvert, and cocaine was what I used to be around people. But shaking that was like going back into my shell. I no longer had my mask, and it was really scary.  

I was kind of a pushover. I let people do stuff to me. And I tended to stay and let people around me because I was lonely.  

The breaking point was when I realized a lot of my friendships and relationships were toxic for me. I had to learn to take things at face value and not to excuse people’s bad behavior. 

What were your triggers when you were using? 

Arguments, depression, being disappointed. Emotional anguish. Being in large groups of people.  

I’ve been sober for 7 years. I often think about how far I’ve come, and I know going backwards will make so many people disappointed in me, but I do have lots of moments when I have urges.  

What are some challenges that make you feel those “urges”? 

My current living situation. The last few months, I haven’t had a place of my own, I’ve been staying with a friend. It’s not optimal. I’ve basically been putting my life together since moving back to New York in March. I moved to Ft. Lauterdale to be with my daughter and her mother. 

Florida wasn’t good for me mentally, or emotionally. The relationship with my daughter’s mother was one of those where I let someone take advantage of me. I lost 50 pounds there. She started mistreating me in all sorts of ways. She had the authorities evict me from a place that had my name on the lease. 

I was working at Target and had just lost my job.  

Are you working now, back in New York? 

Just gigs here and there. I’ve been walking people’s dogs. I get snap benefits, something Alliance helped me with. 

How did you find Alliance for Positive Change, and when? 

In 2017, when I was on the verge of stopping my drug use. I had heard about you from a participant who I knew from another meeting, she told me to come to this group at Alliance. I really enjoyed the group. I didn’t need sterile syringes for long, since I did stop using. But since then I’ve just been coming to the groups.  

What services do you access here? 

All services. I attend the Medication-assisted treatment (Suboxone) group Mondays. I do the Tuesday Men’s Group. Wednesday is the education and health workshop run by Ryan and VOCAL about knowing your rights. Basically five days a week. It’s all been equally useful. I’ve learned how to handle my own reactions to people, different interactions, dealing with different personalities.  

I have an Alliance case manager who helped me get back on SNAP benefits, and the big thing is I’m applying for PREP Cycle 63, starting in mid-September. I met with Ms. Joyce. I’ve been through a lot in life, and I’d like to become a CASAC or drug counselor.  

It seems like you’d be very good at that 

I’ve had a lot of lived experience. It’s not hard being around people who are actively using drugs than other people. They’re more truthful and honest than a lot of people who are sober. People who don’t use--they find ways to nullify the things they go through. Somebody who uses is a little bit more open, because they think their story can help someone avoid their mistakes.  

What is your philosophy in life? 

In due time, people will see the progress you’ve made, and see everything differently. For a while, my mom didn’t believe me when I said I was really dedicated to improving my life, but she’s seen me calm down, get in better shape, she’s seen me do everything in my control. That’s one of the most important relationships in my life. My mom, and my children.  

Community Promise Stories: Daniel

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?  

Sure. I’m Daniel. I’m 52. I’ve lived in the city all my life. I keep myself busy by reading books, watching movies. Go meet up with my friends and socialize. Beyond that, I don’t go to clubs or big places.   

What do you do for work? 

Right now I’m not working. Over the years, I worked at a bank, then I did some teaching at The Princeton Review. My last job was working at my family’s restaurant, up until 2021. 

Can you tell us about your history with substances and what brought you here? 

I started smoking marijuana as a teenager. I few years later I tried some cocaine and a few years later opioids like heroin. Cocaine wasn’t as big a problem for me as heroin. Heroin is tougher because of the physical effects.  

Have you overdosed before? 

Yes, recently. About a year ago. I got something from a new supplier. I didn’t do that much, just half a bag, but 15 minutes later, I was in a store shopping and fell over. The staff called 911 and they came right away and saved my life.  

How did you find Alliance for Positive Change, and when? 

I knew about LESHRC back when it was on Allen Street. I was living in Brooklyn.  

I’ve been living in the LES for a few years. I have my own apartment that I inherited from my parents. In a tenement building. My mom left me some money when she passed and that's paying the rent. 

What services do you access here? 

I come here for syringes, for clothing, food, and other support. I like going to groups, to hear different perspectives. It can go both ways, some people need to just cut out anyone they know who reminds them of the drug world. But for me, it has been healing. 

What have been your triggers that made you use drugs—whether while actively using, or after a long break? 

People I used to use with. And grief. My first relapse was when my fiancé passed away.  

But I’ve also stopped and stared a lot. I’ve tried methadone programs four times. I’d stay sober for a few months, one time for two years.  

And now you just started Suboxone? 

Yeah. There was some problem with health insurance not covering it, but Alliance worked with Medicaid to get started.  

I think I have realistic goals. it depends on how I feel. Maybe I will still need to use a little bit, but still use less, but my goal for sure is to stop using. If I put my mind to it, I know I can do it. One step at a time. I can’t over-predict.  

Do you have a vision of what that will look like? 

Get back to work. Improve my life situation. Be a normal person again. Go to work, go shopping for groceries, mundane things like that, but them being easier. 

What is your philosophy in life? 

I have a few. Treat people the way you want to be treated. You have to be self-reliant. To hear both sides of a story before I have an opinion on something. Everyone has their flaws, so be kind and cordial. 

Community Promise Stories: Cisco

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

My name is Cisco. I came up with a very close-knit family. And I’m blessed to still have a loving family after everything. I have a daughter, whose life I’ve been mostly absent from because I've served a total of almost 30 years in prison, I’ve been on Suboxone for ten years to stop using heroin and cocaine. I’m sharing my story with you because I hope it helps someone, somehow.

What are your interests?

I love to work out. I ride my bike to Blink gym a lot and work out. I like to watch TV and catch up with family members on my support system. My mother-in-law is my spiritual sponsor, so I love catching up with her. Idle time is bad for me, so I like to wake up with a game plan and direction for my day.

Can you tell us about your history with using substances?

When I was a kid, I found the neighborhood gang lifestyle pretty appealing. I was sexually active from a young age, and I would do the drugs that the girls I was with were doing. I was part of a gang.

Cocaine and heroin were the drugs that I was the most into and most dependent on. It all progressed until it started getting out of control. I had a problem with addiction and authority. I got into a lot of fights. I found myself in a bad place, and I started sticking up drug dealers. I had God looking over me in that they weren’t able to kill me.

I’m disabled from getting shot when I robbed two drug dealers in 1988. That was rock bottom and made me stop using drugs for a while, but I needed a few more rock bottoms.

I always heard prison was terrible, but for some reason, I wasn’t scared. I was about that gangster life. I had people bring me cocaine and heroin and smuggle it in for me. The first time I came home from prison in 1996, I almost died from an overdose.

What were your triggers in your recovery?

Sex was my biggest trigger, and the women I was with used a lot of drugs, so I did drugs with them. Boredom, too. That’s why now I like to try to make sure I don’t have time to waste. But it was also just pure addiction, medication—I couldn’t think or function without it.

How did you become introduced to Alliance for Positive Change?

I came home April 15 of this year, and Eugene from the Corrections Health Initiative program picked me up. He gave me the welcome home backpack. I had been in prison for almost 20 years straight, that time. I had had a few 5-6 year bids before, but this was my longest time I spent in prison.

How was such a long sentence different from your shorter sentences?

Well, I had a lot of time to think, and frankly, a lot of people I used to know on the outside forgot about me. So they stopped bringing me drugs like halfway through my sentence: I guess they forgot about me. I had to do something else with my boredom, so I got my food handler’s certificate, and hospice nurse training. I did it to impress the parole board, but I also liked the work.

What did your recovery look like while you were incarcerated?

I became the Chairman of the AA meetings in prison—there was no NA—and a few people were actually from the outside, who came there for the meetings. It was bullshit that there was no NA, so I would run the meetings and say, “I’m Cisco, I’m an alcoholic AND a drug addict.” I guess people liked that I was talking about something real, but that we weren’t supposed to talk about.

Without heroin, I needed to take something for the pain because I have these chronic injuries from my incidents with gangs and beatings I had from the correction officers in prison. I stopped using heroin on August 16, 2014. People stopped bringing me stuff because they thought I was never coming home. The prison wasn’t prescribing Suboxone, so I got it from another prisoner. I was getting it like this for over eight years, until January 2023, when the prison finally allowed us to get Suboxone.

How is your experience with Suboxone treatment at Alliance?

My body is used to it. I don’t have the physical or emotional cravings for heroin, and I think I’ve been over the psychological cravings for a while, really. When I was using a lot, I felt physically weak; I didn’t eat right, I didn’t sleep right, and everything hurt. That’s all much better now.

What other services are you accessing at Alliance?

The recovery group with Emily Levine (Project Manager, and Counselor), in Midtown Central is good for me. I don’t really like sharing in groups so the one-on-one sessions with Emily and Ana are good for me.

Since your recovery journey, have there been any other changes in your mentality?

I’ve also been super reserved about sex, too. I knew that was my biggest trigger, so coming out of prison, I thought I’d be all over the women who showed interest in me, even though I knew that could be bad for me. I’m actually impressed with myself because I haven’t been that guy—I’ve been patient. Sex has been cheap for me a lot of my life, but now I want something more meaningful.

What are your goals for the future?

I want to be of service. You can probably hear it in my voice, but I’ve got a lot of regrets, man. I feel like I wasted so much of my life. I’ve missed most of the moments with my daughter, but maybe I can help someone because of it. My daughter is in my life. I remember so many important dates, like the day she got out of the hospital after she was born with complications, the day her mother died, and the day I got arrested the final time. She resented me at one time, but she’s forgiven me, and that makes me so happy. She’s amazing, so mature and wise. And she’s made me a grandfather. She lives in the city, so I see her again now, which is a blessing.

I’m interested in becoming a Peer Worker at Alliance. I love the work you guys do here, and I’ve got the lived-experience. I’ve been where so many people Alliance helps have been, and I want to be able to help them. I’m interviewing for the next Peer Recovery Education Program training.

Community Promise Stories: Luis H.

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

I’m 48 years old. I’m an artist. I never went to school for it, my highest level of education is a GED, but I’ve been doing graffiti art for a long time, and I loved it since I was a kid in New York and Puerto Rico.

So you spent your childhood between those two places?

Yeah, I was born here, then moved to Puerto Rico and back a few times, coming back for good when I was 13, after my mother left my father. That last move was really bad for me, because I felt so alone here, and didn’t have friends in school. I missed the countryside of Puerto Rico.

When did your drug use start? And what were your drugs of choice?

When we moved back to New York the second time, when I was 13. I had no friends over here besides my cousins. One week in New York and I’m already smoking weed with my cousins, who were just a few years older than me.

I tried heroin at 15 with an older cousin, and didn’t try it again until 22 or 23. I was snorting it.

What was your drug use like in your 20s?

When I was younger, I was pretty successful, things were going well, I was kind of a playboy.

Heroin enhanced sex for me, so I liked that. I didn’t do it every day, because I knew I’d get addicted to it. I’d use on a Saturday and then not pick it up for weeks. After a couple years, I started liking it more and more, and then I was totally addicted. And cocaine was more or less the same thing.

So sex was a trigger for heroin?

Back then, yes. Now, it’s more just that if I don’t use, I feel in pain.

Cocaine was more to function, because at times      when I was trying to work to earn as much money as possible, I was always tired so I had to take cocaine to stay awake.

What do you do for work?

I’m an artist. I get paid for making the graffiti murals on      campuses. Apparel, painting, and all sorts of other work. You can follow me on Instagram @kerznyc.

It sounds like you’ve always been conscious of not building a dependence. Have you tried Medication-assisted treatment before?

I started taking Methadone in 2013, but I’m trying to cut down to a small dose and eventually transition to Suboxone. I’ve reduced my heroin use, but I’m still using, so I want to get off heroin. Especially now, with all the new chemicals in the drug supply, I can feel the xylazine and fentanyl in the batches I take.

Have you overdosed before?

I’ve overdosed at least 12 times, all before I started Methadone in 2013, and back then it was just heroin, none of the stuff in the supply now. Sometimes it was friends, sometimes paramedics who revived me. One time I was in a park and I was super out of it, and the only reason I lived is because a lady walking her dog saw me, and called the ambulance. If she hadn’t seen me, I would’ve died. God had that lady walking through there at night for a reason.

 Every year, I go back to the park where this happened, in the Bronx, and I touch the tree where I was when the lady saved me. I call it the tree of life.  

That’s beautiful. So if you’re still actively taking heroin, and sometimes cocaine, but haven’t overdosed in 11 years, is that just good luck, or what?

Now I ALWAYS test my drugs. If I don’t know my supplier, I’ll just take a half a bag at first, to make sure it’s cool. And being able to test my drugs with the test strips you’ve got here at Alliance, that’s big.

How long have you been coming to Alliance for Positive Change?

I found Alliance about 5 years ago, when you were on Allen St. I came here for the syringe exchange, because I never wanted to share needles, and I appreciated that the people running the syringe exchange never judged me. Actually, they congratulated me for being safer about my use, getting sterile syringes. I used to come here just for needles, now that’s the thing I need the least here. I probably come here for needles once every 40 times. I come here for coffee, for a safe place to hang out, especially when it’s super hot or super cold, because I’ve experienced homelessness for a long time, and I can’t stay on friends’ couches all the time.

A lot of the people we serve are experiencing homelessness. That’s a tough situation when you’re trying to change behaviors.

Oh yeah, the shelter system is really tough. You’ve got to find a good place where they actually treat you like a person, not like your parole officer. I’ve stayed at places like that, where every few weeks they’ll move you around—if you don't do this you lose your bed, it’s really messed up.

Now I’ve got a room in a shelter that doesn’t make you check in all the time, it’s pretty cool, and I applied for Section 8 housing. Some of the case managers here are helping me take the housing vouchers to try to find an apartment. I want a safe place to live, so I can take care of my physical health.

How has your drug use changed since you’ve been coming here?

My drug use is way down, and when I use, I use way less.

I’ve done a bunch of one-on-one sessions with Ana, talking about my traumas and what led me to take these steps to stop using. I’ve had to deal with the fact that I’ve lost friends to overdoses, one guy injected himself in the neck because all his other veins were all used up. He died right in front of me. It takes a while to process stuff like that.

What do you want to do when you’ve completely stopped using?

I want to travel. Right now I’m restricted, because of the methadone. I can’t go to a graffiti competition in Chicago, because I don't want to have to deal with the backlash from missing a few sessions of Methadone.

I want to go back to Puerto Rico, I have so many great memories of being there, in the countryside. Because I really love nature. I grew up around horses and roosters, and I loved it. I want more time to focus on those things.

You’ve mentioned being around nature, and animals. What are some of your other hobbies?

I love being outdoors most of all, and everything outdoors, like fishing, camping, hiking, horseback riding, all that stuff. I have an aunt down in Maryland that I’d visit because she was near all these different rivers so I’d swim all these places, anywhere! I’ve held big snapping turtles, and alligators, it’s exciting, man! I love nature.

Community Promise Stories: Wilson R.

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

My name is Wilson R. I’m 54 years old. Haven’t used drugs in seven months, and I’m feeling good about myself, saving my money. Back in the day I was a kind of bad boy. I got into a lot of foolishness, and my problem with drugs was a big part of it.

When did your drug use start? And what were your drugs of choice?

I was like 13 years old when I started smoking weed and taking heroin. I started slinging it at 13, too. I spent 17 years in prison, but I’ve been out since 2005, and proud I haven’t been back.

What were some of your triggers? Did they change from when you were a teenager, first starting to use heroin, to last year?

No, not really. The people, places, and things that triggered me might’ve changed, but it was always anxiety, anger, and pain. I lost important family members and friends close to me from a young age. I don’t like talking about it.

Okay, of course. Sorry. Can you tell us how you came to find Alliance for Positive Change?

Yeah, I was hanging out in the library up the block and saw signs for the harm reduction center. This was about June 2023. I was already taking Methadone to try to quit heroin, but it wasn’t working. I talked to some of the people here, they were really cool, and I started sitting in on the daily groups here. I don’t really do N.A. (Narcotics Anonymous) but I found it easy being with the people here. I hang out here when I’m not at work, I feel a sense of—I don’t know—community.

Oh and I took the Narcan training here, and a few weeks later I saved someone’s life because I saw them overdosing and gave them Narcan.

Was it a friend?

No, just a total stranger. I was just in the right place, right time.

Wow. So did you say you made the switch from Methadone to Suboxone last year?

Yeah, I think it was November. Dr. Hopping talked to me about treatment options. I wasn’t liking Methadone, because I could still get high from heroin while taking it. He helped me transition to Suboxone, which works better for me because on Suboxone I couldn’t feel the high from heroin, so that kind of removed the temptation (*Editor's note: some people report this side effect, while others do still feel the high from opioids while on Suboxone, a Medication-assisted treatment that consists of Narcan, and Buprenorphine, an opioid receptor blocker which blocks cravings.*)

I started out at a dose of 100mg and I’m now at 50mg.

Congratulations. Is the temptation to use totally gone, or—

No, no, definitely not, it’s still hard not using, but it gets a little less hard every day.

It sounds like Suboxone isn’t the only change you’ve made it your life to stop using. What else have you been doing?

I don’t hang out with the people I used to when I was high. It really is true that the people, places, and things you associate with drugs are the most tempting. But also, working with Ana, my Recovery Coach, has changed my mindset. I see things differently now. I learned to think things out more, instead of just reacting. I can be impulsive, so she’s helped me slow down and think.

Are there any other changes in your life lately?

Yeah, the two big ones are financial and housing. Well, I got a job in sanitation with a private company last year, and I just got promoted. Honestly, if I had been offered the job when I was still using heroin, I would’ve turned it down. Now, though, I kind of think things through. I got a promotion there, which is more money, but changes my shift from nights to mornings, which is going to be a tough change—at first. Like anything, change is always hard. But yeah, I’m getting my first debit card, and trying to find some financial literacy classes, to save my money a little bit. 

Congrats. What’s the other big change?

I got an apartment. I started the process after I was released from prison in 2005, but never finished it until last year. Let me tell you, it’s way easier to be sober with a roof over your head. I come here, listen to people’s stories, and then I go to work, or I go home.

Lots of changes: sobriety, housing, more money and financial literacy. Is it overwhelming?

It’s a lot of change, but it’s good, you know? I think the biggest change is just my mindset. I try to really think things through more, not just be impulsive. I think every day, the hard things get a little less hard.

Community Promise Stories: Enrique

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

My name is Enrique L. I’m 68, originally from Puerto Rico, although I came to New York 35 years ago.

What do you do for fun?

I like to clean and organize things around the house. And I like to cook traditional Puerto Rican food like arroz con gandules.

How did you come to find Alliance for Positive Change?

When I was released from prison in December, I was connected with Eugene, from Alliance’s Corrections Health Initiative. He helped me—I was incarcerated for a long time, so I’m not used to smart phones, and other stuff most people are.

We don’t have to get into the subject of your incarceration, unless you want to talk about it?

We can talk about it. I like to share my story. Maybe it can help someone else. I was addicted to heroin and crack. Getting high was the most important thing in my life, and, when I was living on the street, I killed someone for drugs. I was in prison for 27 years.

How did you come to start taking heroin and crack?

After I came to New York from Puerto Rico with my wife, about 35 years ago. I never did drugs before then, but I started hanging out other Nuyorican guys who were injecting heroin and kept pressuring me to try it. I thought they were my friends but when I said “no” they kept saying “just do it” and I finally said yes.

What is your current drug use?

None. I haven’t at all in like 10 years, even though drugs were around in prison. When I was using drugs, I would get angry and fight with my wife and my boss. I’m not usually like that, you can see, I’m a pretty quiet, calm guy. I didn’t feel like myself. I lost my wife and kids, my job, and was sleeping on the street, living only for heroin.

What was the biggest thing for your drug abstinence?

In prison, they offered prescription Suboxone (a prescribed Medication-assisted therapy made to reduce withdrawal cravings for opioids) and I took it because I didn’t want to feel that way again. I wanted to stop using. Drugs were around in prison, but I didn’t use much, and not at all in the last 10 years. I wanted to feel like myself again.

 As soon as I got released and found Alliance, I got a Suboxone treatment plan and I can pick it up every few weeks. It’s been easy.

Enrique with his Alliance case worker, Ana

Besides Suboxone, what else is an important part of your recovery?

Groups. I like to talk with the other people here, even the ones who are using. Just hearing their stories helps me. And my counselor, Ana. She’s great. We speak in Spanish, Spanglish, and English, whatever. 

I get supportive services because I have HIV. I got it from sharing needles when I was living on the street. I’m fine sharing that with anyone, I don’t have anything to hide.

Now that you’re feeling like Suboxone is working, what are some of your goals?

My kids. I was incarcerated most of their lives, but they see I'm not on drugs and we reconnected. I got to meet my grandson, which was—it was really special.

I can live on a fixed income and I’m about to move into my own apartment. With some privacy, I’m looking forward to having my children stay with me sometimes. I’m happy.