Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?
My name is Cisco. I came up with a very close-knit family. And I’m blessed to still have a loving family after everything. I have a daughter, whose life I’ve been mostly absent from because I've served a total of almost 30 years in prison, I’ve been on Suboxone for ten years to stop using heroin and cocaine. I’m sharing my story with you because I hope it helps someone, somehow.
What are your interests?
I love to work out. I ride my bike to Blink gym a lot and work out. I like to watch TV and catch up with family members on my support system. My mother-in-law is my spiritual sponsor, so I love catching up with her. Idle time is bad for me, so I like to wake up with a game plan and direction for my day.
Can you tell us about your history with using substances?
When I was a kid, I found the neighborhood gang lifestyle pretty appealing. I was sexually active from a young age, and I would do the drugs that the girls I was with were doing. I was part of a gang.
Cocaine and heroin were the drugs that I was the most into and most dependent on. It all progressed until it started getting out of control. I had a problem with addiction and authority. I got into a lot of fights. I found myself in a bad place, and I started sticking up drug dealers. I had God looking over me in that they weren’t able to kill me.
I’m disabled from getting shot when I robbed two drug dealers in 1988. That was rock bottom and made me stop using drugs for a while, but I needed a few more rock bottoms.
I always heard prison was terrible, but for some reason, I wasn’t scared. I was about that gangster life. I had people bring me cocaine and heroin and smuggle it in for me. The first time I came home from prison in 1996, I almost died from an overdose.
What were your triggers in your recovery?
Sex was my biggest trigger, and the women I was with used a lot of drugs, so I did drugs with them. Boredom, too. That’s why now I like to try to make sure I don’t have time to waste. But it was also just pure addiction, medication—I couldn’t think or function without it.
How did you become introduced to Alliance for Positive Change?
I came home April 15 of this year, and Eugene from the Corrections Health Initiative program picked me up. He gave me the welcome home backpack. I had been in prison for almost 20 years straight, that time. I had had a few 5-6 year bids before, but this was my longest time I spent in prison.
How was such a long sentence different from your shorter sentences?
Well, I had a lot of time to think, and frankly, a lot of people I used to know on the outside forgot about me. So they stopped bringing me drugs like halfway through my sentence: I guess they forgot about me. I had to do something else with my boredom, so I got my food handler’s certificate, and hospice nurse training. I did it to impress the parole board, but I also liked the work.
What did your recovery look like while you were incarcerated?
I became the Chairman of the AA meetings in prison—there was no NA—and a few people were actually from the outside, who came there for the meetings. It was bullshit that there was no NA, so I would run the meetings and say, “I’m Cisco, I’m an alcoholic AND a drug addict.” I guess people liked that I was talking about something real, but that we weren’t supposed to talk about.
Without heroin, I needed to take something for the pain because I have these chronic injuries from my incidents with gangs and beatings I had from the correction officers in prison. I stopped using heroin on August 16, 2014. People stopped bringing me stuff because they thought I was never coming home. The prison wasn’t prescribing Suboxone, so I got it from another prisoner. I was getting it like this for over eight years, until January 2023, when the prison finally allowed us to get Suboxone.
How is your experience with Suboxone treatment at Alliance?
My body is used to it. I don’t have the physical or emotional cravings for heroin, and I think I’ve been over the psychological cravings for a while, really. When I was using a lot, I felt physically weak; I didn’t eat right, I didn’t sleep right, and everything hurt. That’s all much better now.
What other services are you accessing at Alliance?
The recovery group with Emily Levine (Project Manager, and Counselor), in Midtown Central is good for me. I don’t really like sharing in groups so the one-on-one sessions with Emily and Ana are good for me.
Since your recovery journey, have there been any other changes in your mentality?
I’ve also been super reserved about sex, too. I knew that was my biggest trigger, so coming out of prison, I thought I’d be all over the women who showed interest in me, even though I knew that could be bad for me. I’m actually impressed with myself because I haven’t been that guy—I’ve been patient. Sex has been cheap for me a lot of my life, but now I want something more meaningful.
What are your goals for the future?
I want to be of service. You can probably hear it in my voice, but I’ve got a lot of regrets, man. I feel like I wasted so much of my life. I’ve missed most of the moments with my daughter, but maybe I can help someone because of it. My daughter is in my life. I remember so many important dates, like the day she got out of the hospital after she was born with complications, the day her mother died, and the day I got arrested the final time. She resented me at one time, but she’s forgiven me, and that makes me so happy. She’s amazing, so mature and wise. And she’s made me a grandfather. She lives in the city, so I see her again now, which is a blessing.
I’m interested in becoming a Peer Worker at Alliance. I love the work you guys do here, and I’ve got the lived-experience. I’ve been where so many people Alliance helps have been, and I want to be able to help them. I’m interviewing for the next Peer Recovery Education Program training.