I’m a 52 year-old gay man living with HIV. I realized I was gay at the age of 5 but kept it to myself. I have one brother and one sister who I took care of while my mother went to work.
I had what you would consider a normal childhood until my mother found a letter that a guy had written me. She questioned me and I was honest because I wanted to live an authentic life. When I was 16, she asked me to leave home, and I obliged. I wound up in the streets and found myself at The Covenant House.
At the age of 17 I became a stripper at the Show Palace in Times Square to make ends meet. While I was dancing my boss hooked me up with a pimp and I started to escort. I continued that for a couple of years and at the age of 20 I met a guy at a Grace Jones concert. I still escorted and danced for 2 years before he found out, and that was when I stopped escorting.
The relationship lasted for six years until he died of AIDS. I knew I had HIV but was in denial. I didn’t bother to get tested because I didn’t want to know or have to take medication.
After my partner passed, I was left with nothing. I was severely depressed and went from house to house and eventually I tried to commit suicide. That left me at the hospital where I finally took an HIV Test and learned my truth.
After that, I started selling drugs and moved to Boston with a friend. That only lasted a year because I couldn’t be my true authentic self and lead my gay life. I finally decided it was time to pick up the pieces.
It was when then I reconciled with my mom and I can say we have a great relationship. I applied for a NYCHA apartment in the meantime. I then met my second lover and had gotten a job as a process server. We had moved in together and had a great relationship that lasted for four years, but we both knew we were better off as friends. His brother and I decided to start a home improvement business.
After that ended, I fell back into a deep depression but things quickly turned around. While I was in therapy my psychiatrist guided me in the right direction. I eventually got my apartment at NYCHA and landed an interview with Alliance for Positive Change in 2006.
My life was finally turning around for the better. I got accepted to Alliance’s Peer Recovery Education Program (PREP) and became a Peer not long after that. Alliance helped me put my life back on track and allows me to share my story of hope with my clients. Even though I have no regrets, it allowed me to learn from my experiences and made me the person I am today
