I like to go by “T.” I’m a 34-year-old Hispanic man from Brooklyn. I describe myself as fun, laid-back, intelligent, hard-working, God-fearing, and a dog dad.
I’m in Alliance’s CHOICES program because I want to stop using opioids permanently, and I recognized I need help. I joined the program in February, after a small relapse. I had seen a post about CHOICES program on Facebook and reached out for help.
I got started taking opioids in High School, when my friends and I had “trail mix parties”—it’s pretty common—where we’d raid the medicine cabinets in one of our homes and take whatever we could find, not even knowing what they were. For all of my 20s, I was working exclusively to pay bills and buy more pills. My mental health was worsening, and my family was worried about me.
I tried stopping many times, promising “I will never make myself feel this way again,” but this disease is insidious. Triggers for me to go back to using had been family issues, and as a result of my substance use and relapses, I lost their trust, my apartment, experienced paranoia and psychosis, and had to sell my car to fund my drug use.
Every time I tried to stop, my withdrawal symptoms were like the worst flu you have ever had plus spasms and feeling like you were literally crawling out of your skin. I want to stop using permanently for myself, for my own benefit. I deserve a future.
My recovery coach Ashley was there for me and helped me figure out a treatment plan. I currently take prescribed Sublocade* and I’m receiving regular counseling services and mental health services. I know that all of this is essential for me to reach my goal of permanent sobriety. I haven’t taken opioids in the past 90 days.
The allure for opioids was the inability to properly cope with life, and the funny thing we all do is only remembering the good times we had while high, not all the bad.
Right now, I’m in a long-term facility, getting services from there, in addition to these at Alliance.
I love music, dancing, cooking, movies, the pool, hanging with friends and family, going for long drives to clear my head. I miss the old days when I was carefree, drug-free and cruising the streets on NYC in my yellow Mustang. These are the things I’m looking forward to doing more of.
* Sublocade is similar to Suboxone, a form of medically-assisted treatment that reduces withdrawal symptoms and cravings, helping people stop using opioids.